nedelja, 2. februar 2014

Digital Brain (Novella) version 01

”A year gone by again, and I’m still not closer to understanding myself,” the thought echoing in Dren’s head, overthrowing all other brain processes. ”I’m feeling like living a never-ending cycle. Promise for a change, and that change never comes. No matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to be getting anywhere.” Thoughts like this would usually lead to a depressing vortex of complete unproductivity and an overwhelming sense of uselessness. But not this time. No. Something has changed in the last 24 hours and his brain didn’t yet fully acknowledge it.

”The chip implant I bought!” A new technology, scary to some, life-saving to others. Simply an electrical circuit, attached to the back of the brain, with the goal to collect electric impulses which neurons use to communicate. Atop of that, the chip had wireless transmission capabilities.
And so, with just a simple thought ”Upload current mind state” the depressing mood was cleared away and stored digitally. As if all the problems were viruses in his head, and were brutally murdered by the superior intellect that is our brain.

”That’s. Weird.” were the only thoughts left, as he couldn’t explain to himself the undergone sensation. But he couldn’t even think it over again, because it was soon replaced with more imminent worries: ”I should check if my previous thoughts were saved correctly!” With a new goal in life, he put his hands before him and made a welcoming gesture. The liquid crystals before him, that just a second ago were only a puddle forming various assymetrical shapes, started to compose into a more organized manner. In mere seconds, a 30 inch display was staring him across the table, the crystals changing the color accordingly. He lazily turned his wrist, which almost instantly got recognized as a changing of color gesture, and the screen borders went from a black to a vivid blue color.

Before he got the chance to do anything else, a familiar female voice greeted him ”Welcome back, Commander Dren” - this always made him smile. An edited greeting for the stake of nostalgia. He quickly turned his focus on the present time and thought for a second what to say. Any word or phrase was ok really, since the tablet (the archaic name still stuck for some reason) had voice recognition. ”Blaaaargh” was all he could utter, but it was enough. It was a good word apparently, as the login screen faded to the main menu. From there he shoved his right hand in dismissal and then upraised his left to the eye level. In accordance with his hand movements, the icons on the screen changed places and forms and there it was a - notification that a new file was saved in the appositly called ”fuck you brain” folder. Pretty stupid name for a folder, but with a reason - or so Dren liked to tell himself in the hopes of cheating out his brain. Upon examining its contents there was a file labelled ”thoughts_01” and making a pull gesture with his right hand, a notification window popped up.
 
Summary: Thoughts recorded - Vicious Cycle. Open? Yes. No.
 
”Indeed, this is a great way to trick the mind! Even when I look at this file, it doesn’t tell me absolutely anything. I have no clue what the vicious cycle is.” But of course now that his curiosity was peaked, there was no going back. ”What will happen if I press yes?” and he put a thumb up, allowing the machine to interpret it as a confirmation. What happened was both mesmerizing and interesting all at once. There was text covering the screen, and a narrator’s vocie reading it. But the peculiar thing was the video playing. A set of bizarre black circular tubes forming inside one another and outgrowing. And then growing some more, untill the point of almost breaking - but ultimatelly simply wearing down and deflating like a baloon. This seemed to go on and on, with each tube almost breaking, in different points and with different intensity, but never quite getting there.

It didn’t take much for the realization to arrive at him like a tidal wave. He almost felt the intensity of a thought process on a phyisicall level. ”I remember! The chip works!” but with the memories came the depressing mood as he started to immgaine himself trapped in a circular tube, with no way out. He tried punching, and kicking, but the tube only streched out and than returned to its original position. Soon after, an ”upload current mind state” followed. He sat back for a while, tapping the desk with his fingers. His mind was completely carefree once again and open to anything. ”Is this what people performing meditation experience?” and as if to prove a point to himself, he focused on the breathing, inhaling and exhaling, even closing his eyes. And than he got distracted again, by thinking about all the different situations where he could test the possibilities his head implant offered him. ”No more need to escape the reality by running to games, alcohool, or drugs. I can simply clear away the distractions! And on that note, I really should study for the upcoming exams.” And this was the third time he uploaded the thoughts to the tablet in the last 5 minutes.

Having a clear goal - and head - he searched the folders on the machine to find the exam material, and each and every time a distraction came by, the thoughts were simply uploaded and he could go on with the work undisturbed. After 5 hours of uninterrupted studies which for Dren felt like achieving a new world record in study practices, he felt spectacularly well. In fact, this was the first time he studied seriously during the last few weeks. Even if there wasn’t a single day gone by without him feeling useless and incapable of doing anything, because in the 18 hours a day he spent awake, he couldn’t muster over 2 hours of dedicated studying. ”That wasn’t so bad! And I almost never used the upload feature! Well, a few times really. I could have done without.” raising once again the left hand at the eye level, there were 169 new notifications. ”WHAT?” he exclaimed out loud and the sound of the word was echoing for some time in the air and inside his head. Like a table ball hitting different surfaces and bouncing right back, only to be kicked away again. His brain was rejecting the idea: ”Something’s off, I can feel it. Maybe the notifications were counted multiple times? Maybe the system broke? Oh, what if the distractions I had were saved under multiple entries, because they were so complex?”

His mind was racing, searching for a reasonable excuse or explanation, whichever came first. Only after calming down a little did he remember to ”upload” once more. 170. ”So if I was studying for 300 minutes, this means that once about every 2 minutes my thoughts got carried away and I had to upload them! This must definitely be a glitch! I don’t remember-” as soon as the idea crossed his mind, he hastily made a few quick hand gestures, bringing the ”fuck you brain” folder up once again. Last file added was indeed labelled as ”thoughts_170”. He clenched a fist and successively opened it violently, feeling the pulse of the heartbeat rising. On-screen compared ”name of the files” and a long list of the names of all the files stored in the directory followed: vicious cycle, fear of being trapped, escaping reality, annoying studies, alternative career paths, annoying lectures, bad handwriting, movies to watch, vacation plans... and so on.

Dren was quickly scanning the list, recognizing some recurring thoughts that he had multiple times when boredom or anxiety took over. The most frequent was thinking of all the options he had if he failed the exam. They ranged from most simple ones, such as to study again and retry, up to more fantastical ones: go live as a hermit on an island. Upon re-examination Dren realized that there was nothing wrong with the software. The sad truth of the situation was that he simply got distracted too easily. But the situation was far more severe than a single boy’s inability to focus on the studying. In fact, distractions were recognized as a global disease even, with medics prescribing pills which shut out many brain processes. One pill before going to work and one for the night. However, putting the ethics of such doing aside, the remedy worked only for people who had a standard routine and jobs which didn’t require much fantastical thinking. In academia, this couldn’t work. ”How could I forget that I get distracted too easily? The whole internet keeps chatting about distractions. Even though, ironically, the internet IS the main source of distraction for many people. But now I can finally put this to the past, with this marvelous little piece of electronics in the back of my head. Now what other distractions is my life full of, that I could overcome now?”


... TO BE CONTINUED

So what do you think? Is it understandable enough? Interesting enough? I'll upload the continuation of the Novella in the upcoming days, as soon as I'll have time to write.

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