5 Passions, their positive effect on work and the problems that arise

This post is a result of a year and a half worth of deep introspection and a lifelong journey of struggles with my passions. It's intended to be read as an inspiration for anyone who's having troubles finding out what makes them happy in life.

To feel a passion for something - anything - is a beautiful thing. As kids we wonder at all that surrounds us: everything is awesome. As we grow older, we tend to lose that sense in pursuit of something we call happiness. I think passions are a remnant of that childish wonder and enjoyment of life, only far more focused on specific activities.

On the other hand, passions can consume us whole if we leave them unattended. They are like rivers flowing down the mountains. We can obstruct them by constructing dams, but eventually the water will find its way towards a lake, sea, ocean or underground. Likewise, we can try to hold our passions off, but as a result we get destroyed little by little inside. In the end we can either dedicate ourselves to what we love, or give up and say "it was not meant to be", usually passing our frustrations to the future generations.

In the following I'm going to explain which are my passions and how they have a positive impact on what I do for a living - earning money if you prefer - and that's a PhD in Particle Physics, as well as a way they are destroying me. By writing this I hope that I'll give my potential readers an incentive to think about and prioritize their passions with respect to other activities. Furthermore I hope that this list will give readers with different passions an insight into something that might be strange to them.

5. Mathematics

So what do I see in math that attracts me? Well, I enjoy the idea of being able to calculate things, and it's always gratifying to see the results of hard mental work. I also really like implementing mathematical formulae in computer programs, because there's a direct connection between what I write, and what I receive as a result.

Pro Work:
This is kind of obvious - I'm doing physics, so I'm better off liking math. And in fact, all my career choices were oriented around this particular passion of mine.

Problems:
I'm getting frustrated here little by little, because I made choices which in the end don't seem to matter at all. There will always be someone above the food chain in my research group, or the entire collaboration, that'll dictate what I have to do and what not. What happens consecutively is that I see little to no calculus nowadays, and have to work with code entirely written by others, and only having to modify it. That's not something I'm willing to put up with forever.

4. Games

Up to date, games were my worst addiction ever. So how can I say that they are a passion of mine and not addiction? It's simple really: finding out what my other passions are and dedicating time to those, leaves me with time to play only when I really want to.

Pro Work:
I'm currently playing a cooperative game with 3 friends. And the more difficult the levels got, the more we connected and learned to play as a team. And teamwork is of essential importance in a research collaboration as well. Furthermore, as many studies show, such games increase hand-eye coordination, making me more efficient in all other aspects of my life - work included.

And of course, games can be simply a way to have fun and relieve stress. That's more than enough to get over anger or disappointment or else, which in turn makes me more productive at work.

Problems:
In my opinion it's really bad that people are judgmental towards gamers. For me personally it happened that if I concealed my playing games nobody even noticed, and I did everything that was asked to do. But as soon as some authoritative figure learned this (starting with parents, mind you), they started drilling and questioning my methods and that was when the addictive nature of games came up again and I was more than ready to start playing and stop paying attention to the nagging that helps no-one.

I have tons more to say on games, but plan to do so in a separate blog entry.

3. Sports

In my opinion it's bad that I even have to argue for this point. Whatever the hell happened to the "Mens sana in corpore sano"?

Though I realize that the level of my commitment to sport is beyond ordinary and considered by many to be kind of insane. I have a beautifully elegant example of telling people how much I enjoy sports: I swam for 5 km dolphin style. This achievement of mine didn't bring me revenue and didn't bring me fame. And really, I don't want it to, because it's something that I did for myself - though I am undeniably proud of it.

Pro Work:
Sports pull my frustrations out of my system. I don't need to say a word, just run it off. This means that I can spend more time working, and less time feeling sorry for myself.

Also, when doing sports, my thoughts get sorted out and there were more than one occasion when I got a great idea for how to solve a particular problem I'm being faced with.

Problems:
With an ongoing PhD that takes most of my day, I have the choice of doing sports in the evening filling up my free time by a great measure, or don't do enough and feel like crap. And when I have to work harder towards a deadline, or study, sometimes I'm forced in a corner and expected to suck it up, don't do sports and work instead. That, or get sleep depravation. Occasionally both, as was the case with my last exam.

2. Music

I really enjoy music. I made a separate blog entry explaining the level of connection I feel with it. I listen to it while I drive, when I go running if I'm alone, or when I have to work in the office and need some isolation from the rest of the world. There's nothing better than just taking a playlist of songs I currently enjoy, put the headphones in and I'm completely engaged and can't be distracted.

Pro Work:
There are probably thousands of studies showing the benefit of music on our brains, and everything that positively affects my brain betters my work performance.

Problems:
I love playing instruments. I know how to play the clarinet, piano, and learning the violin now. I also plan on buying and learning the bagpipes sometime in the future. But playing, as every skill learned in life, needs practice. And I hardly find the time to play the violin, let alone the other two instruments which were left behind somewhere in my life. This frustrates me immensely.

1. Writing

Last but not least, do I even need to explain myself on this one? Here's a link to my first Novellette, and I'm always happy to receive feedback, because I want to improve. Also any comments on this blog post are more than welcome.

Writing is also something which integrates perfectly with my life, because the more different and varied experiences I live, the more interesting my stories will be.

Pro Work:
I type fast. That's really useful for responding on all emails and writing code.

Also, by writing I get better at expressing myself, which is essential when writing papers or documentation of any kind.

Problems:
I won't lie - after quite some time (about 13 years) I realized I'd like to live off writing, because I love it so much, and if I do any kind of work that'll take up to 8 hours of my daily time, I won't be able to fulfill this passion of mine, without sacrificing some of my other passions.